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He Said/She Said

Why Do We Communicate?

Studies have show that men and women communicate for different reasons: 

Men communicate to establish status; demonstrated by:
  • one-upmanship
  • debating
  • joking/storytelling/teasing

Women communicate to establish connection; demonstrated by:
  • finding commonalities
  • asking questions
  • interrupting to “bond” 

Whether the difference is gender, generation, behavior style or skill sets, it's time to get away from the "equality" myth. Men and women are different, and here are just a few of the differences to be recognized: 
  • We handle stress differently - men fight or withdraw; women "tend" and want to talk;
  • We see power differently - men want the "symbols" of power (corner office, big company car), women want the benefits of power (more time off, flexible work time);
  • We solve problems differently - men isolate, analyze and solve, women juggle multiple solutions;
  • We make decisions differently - men think about the situation, women think about the people;
  • We FEEL emotions differently - LITERALLY: women have emotional functions on both sides of the brain, whereas men only have it on the right side - while the power to speak lies on the left. (I can't make that up!)
  • We READ emotions differently - if I say I'm fine, even if I'm frowning and heave a big sigh, men will believe I'm fine, women will focus on the frown and the sigh.

10 Major Communication Differences
Email Sarah Zink for the other five.
  • Men REPORT, Women want RAPPORT
    • Men:  "Just the facts, ma'am"
    • Women: "So, how's your brother's dog?"
  • Men DIRECT, Women SUGGEST
    • Men: "Here's what we need to do..."
    • Women: "What do you think about this idea?"
  • Men EXTERNALIZE, Women INTERNALIZE
    • Men: when he gets the big account, it's "WOOT WOOT WOOT" in the hallway
    • Women: when she gets the big account, she calls her _______ (best friend, mother, etc)
  • Men are SPECIFIC, Women are CONTEXTUAL
    • Men: Men use binoculars - walk into a room, see an empty chair, sit in it;
    • Women: Women use a kaleidoscope - walk into a room, gauge expressions, note furniture placement, etc.
  • Men are CONSISTENT, Women are FLEXIBLE
    • Men: "That's the way we've always done it"
    • Women: "Why don't we try....”
Source: ThinkZink enewsletter, Sarah Zink Business Training

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